HA! you actually did it. The part that kills me.

Gotta deliver. Always.

Anonymous:
write a haiku about a foot fetish.

Your delicate feet,

sloped and arched like your smooth back;

crinkled toes like smiles.

Anonymous:
What does life mean to you?

This is going to be fairly short:

For me, life is an opportunity to constantly pursue knowledge (education and knowledge in general) to try and deepen my understanding of reality (philosophy, to appreciate, study, create, and find beauty in art (any form(s) of art — music, painting, drawing, sculpting, photography, writing, dancing, etc.), to understand myself on a deeper level, to see and experience locations and cultures around the world, to create deep relationships with others and share thoughts and experiences with them, to be kind, to be thoughtful, to be open-minded, and to enjoy myself.

Anonymous:
Are you my father?

Yes, my child.

Anonymous:
If magic existed would you be for or against its use? As with all magic, there are consequences for every spell cast and the like, and there must be a balance of good and evil. Does the Danger outweigh the cool factor?

What kind of magic? Harry Potter magic? I’m going to assume you mean Harry Potter magic (partly because that’s what I want you to mean).

I would be against the use of magic to do undeserved harm, much like I am against using any tool or weapon to do undeserved harm. Humanity has thousands of tools and weapons at its disposal. From what you seem to be suggesting, magic would just be added on to that list.

Am I on the right track with my answer, or were you hoping for a different direction than where I took it?

Anonymous:
what do you think of the reveal of the Mother (Ted's wife)? Do you like the actress? Is she how you pictured her? What do you think will happen in season 9?

I haven’t seen it yet. I have a deal with a friend to watch all of the new episodes together. We’re a few episodes behind. No spoilers!

Anonymous:
how u do da secks?

That about covers it, old sport.

Anonymous:
Where do babies come from?

That’s not important.

What’s important is how you deal with the baby when it is in the womb.

If a girl is upset do not ask her if she is on her period you rude fucking asshole

That’s like punching a lioness in the face. Why on earth would you ever do that?

(via litlredmunchkin)